A Rose Among Thorns

Chapter 7 Recovery After Breakdown

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I survived my suicide attempt, but I was still not happy. My personal life was not exactly as I would have wanted it to be. I was forced into making a decision that would not only be painful, but would altar the rest of my life.

I had to think about my future and what I wanted from it. I knew there was a reason God had put me on this earth, though I could not see what it was. I don’t think it was to be a loving wife, for the only men I’ve ever dated have been drunkards and abusers. I realize that there is a possibility that I was meant to be alone for the rest of my life. So I have resolved myself to this outcome.

But I also realized there had to be something of importance in my life. I could no longer sit and dwell on that which was out of my reach. I had to do something with myself, with my life. Something that would give my life meaning.

So I began building my website A Rose Among Thorns. I decided that God had kept me alive so that I could reach out to other women, give them hope and inspiration in their daily lives. The only way to do that was to publish my story on my website. To show others that they are not alone, that recovery is possible.

I began reading the Bible and daily devotions every night before bedtime. I made a concerted effort to read Psalms and Proverbs every morning to start my day out right. I wrote my thoughts and prayers down in journals. Daily I made a point to commune with God, to make him an essential part of my life. I put Him in control of every situation of my life. I turned over everything to Him. And what a difference it has made in my life.

I have been depression-free now for three years, a once-impossible feat. I am no longer on medications. I no longer worry about things or let things disturbe me. I am no longer suicidal. I’m really happier than I’ve ever been in my life.

Now I’m on a mission to reach out to others. To tell them about my website, to lend them courage and inspiration, and to help them live more fulfilling lives.

Everyone has a purpose in life. We may not know what it is. And it may take us years to find out. But life will be mor meaningful when we discover what that purpose is. It may be something small as taking care of stray animals, or it could be something huge as working in a daycare center, or a nursing home, or feeding the homeless. Maybe it is to work in a library, or a doctor’s office, or a shoe store. Maybe it is to write poetry or short stories for the world to read. Maybe it is to paint. Maybe it is to teach illiterate people how to read. Maybe you have a gift of singing.

God has our lives all planned out. Everything that happens, works for our good. It may take years to see the results of something that happens to us. Just as it may take this website years to build and gather women to it. But it is my purpose in life and I want to fulfill that purpose. It is what motivates me, keeps me going. It is satisfying work.

I want to reach out to women around the world. I want to touch their lives in some small way. Even if I only reach one person, I will feel as though I have accomplished my goal in life.

Has your life always been what you want it to be? Are there changes you can make in your life? I suggest to you to sit down, take a good long look at your life. Make a list of those things that you like to do. How can you make those things be useful in your life? How they become your purpose for living?

Please take the time to visit 30 Days To A Happier, Healthier, Better You by clicking on the link below. Discover how you can feel better about yourself.

30 Days to a Happier Healthier Better You

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