A Rose Among Thorns

About Me

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I am a 42 year old single mother.  My life has been a series of ups and downs.  At the age of 21, I lost my first child when I was 4 months pregnant.  I was thrown down the isle of a bus when the bus driver slammed on his breaks to keep from hitting a dog.  For the next 3 1/2  years I suffered abuse from my husband.   He was an alcoholic and after the loss of our child he turned to drugs, mostly cocaine.  He became violent.  His temper would flare at the slightest notion.  I grew to fear him.  Then I became pregnant with my daughter.  When he found out, he tried to encourage me to give the baby up for adoption.  When I told him I couldn't do that, he tried to convince me to have an abortion.  I refused.  When I did, he turned angry.  He threw me on the ground and began kicking me over and over again until finally he fell to his knees crying for what he had done.  He had damaged my kidneys.  I ended up being rushed to the doctor threatening to abort.  I was given the strongest antibiotics the doctor could give me to combat any infections in the kidneys.  I was forced to take two weeks off my job, but in the end me and my baby survived.  However, my daughter was born with many complications due to the medication my daughter was born without any immune system.  The first year of her life she saw over ten different doctors trying to find out what was wrong with her.  She cried constantly, could never sleep, and was pretty much deprived a normal childhood.  Life was frustrating.  She was in and out of hospitals.  I grew frustrated and angry that doctor's could not help her.  Out of frustration, I went to the library and pulled out every medical book I could find and began reading.  Finally I realized what my daughter's problem was.  She had no immune system.  Once I found this out, I could then find a doctor who could help her get better.  By the age of 5 1/2 or 6 she was almost normal with medications, a controlled diet, and a lot of patience.  She now lives a completely healthy life.
I was saved at the age of 15, but I didn't really know what that meant.  I believed that Christ died on the cross for my sins.  But I did not know the extent of what it meant to be a Christian.  As such I did not live a worldly life.  I pretty much did what I wanted, when I wanted without forethought to where it would lead me, or what the consequences would be.  As such, I suffered tremendously. 
It wasn't until three years ago that I turned my life over to Christ again. 
I had just broken off an engagement to a man I loved and trusted.  We were engaged and planning our wedding when things began to fall apart.  I began to wonder what was wrong. I confronted him a time or two, but he never said much.
Then the truth revealed itself.  He was already married.  He had told me he was divorced and I believed him.  I had no reason not to.  In the end, I was hurt and torn apart inside.
I felt unworthy. I felt anger, bitterness and desolation.  I had no where to turn, no one to talk to. 
In my desperation, I turned to God.  I began to pray, and read my bible continually.  I would read it in the car on my lunch hour.  I began keeping a journal of my thoughts and my prayers.  I began to find healing and joy instead of tears and pain.  Christ has worked wonders in my life and I know he can wonders in yours if only you would begin to believe.  I would like to help you find the same peace and joy that I have found in my walk with Jesus.  It is my goal, my passion to lead others to a greater understanding of Christ, in order that they might find salvation in their own lives.  I know that without Christ, we are doomed to eternal life in hell.  I do not wish that for anyone.  Not even you.

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