A Rose Among Thorns

August 26, 2006

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This week was exhausting and frustrating.  On Teusday I picked up doctor's orders for a chest X-Ray.  On Wednesday evening, after work, I went to the outpatient facility and had the X-ray done.  Also depression finally set in full force.  I literally cried all day Wednesday.  on Thursday I was a bit more optimistic and not so tired.  I went to work for two hours then went back to the outpatient facility for an MRI and a bone scan.  On Friday I was to return to the outpatient facility to complete the MRI.  I was told that the contrast part of the MRI did not take and it needed to be repeated.  I had to cancel my doctor's appointment scheduled for that day and Saturday, today I had to return to the outpatient facility to finish the MRI.  I was so depressed I broke down in tears.  I had asked the doctor to prescribe some anti-depressants, but even with an insurance card I could not affordt them at $158.00.
Also, I am already in debt for over $7,000.  My insurance would only pay $300 dollars for an MRI and $200 for the bone scane.  I had to pay $500 up front or they would have sent me home without any tests done at all. 
My insurance will only pay for one radiation treatment at $300.  I will need to have a total of 30 treatments.  I will be indebt for that for over $8,700 if each treatment costs $300. 
I have a clause where I can get $20,000 for critical illness which covers cancer.  However, they are having to investigate to make sure this is not a pre-existing condition.  They say it can take any where from 30 days to severall months.  Meanwhile my treatment keeps going and I don't know what to do.  I am at a loss.  I feel I am losing my mind already.
I went and stayed with my mom and dad last night so that I had them to lean on.  I got a good night sleep and I felt better when I woke up.  I may stay there again tonight.  I am not sure yet.
I will keep you posted as my treatments progress.

Thank you Lord, for seeing me through this week.  Thanks for giving me the strength to endure all that had to be done so quickly.  Thanks for keeping the cancer contained to one area of my breast.  Thank you for just watching over me.  Be with me with each continued step.  Help me to do the work I need to do.  Help me to do household chores where they are needed.  But also help me to find adequate rest so that I can remain healthy for my treatments. Amen

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