A Rose Among Thorns Pregnancy and Abortion |
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What Do World Religions Believe About Abortion? STAGES OF DEVELOPMENT, FROM AN OVUM & SPERMATOZOON TO A NEWBORN |
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Pregnancy and Abortion
I met my ex-husband in my early twenties. We lived together for 6 1/2 years. After wed
lived together for a few years, we decided to have our first child. It took just a few
months before we received word that we were pregnant.
Both of us were happy. Especially me, knowing that human life was growing inside of
me. I wanted to do everything right. I watched everything I ate and though I never felt
the life of the child move inside of me, I knew he was alive and thriving, growing and
developing into a small fetus.
When I was in my fourth month, the life of my child was taken from me in a split second.
If I had known beforehand, I would have done everything different. But you never know
what God has in store for your.
The bus was overly crowded this day, and I was shy and very quiet. It was hard for me to
talk to strangers. I was afraid to ask any for their seat because I didnt think they would
believe I was really pregnant. So Instead I stood. The bus stopped very abruptly causing
me to fall forward down the isle of the bus. I caught myself on the back of a seat. I felt a
pull in my lower abdomen and immediately I started losing my baby.
I had a DNC at the hospital and I would never be the same again. After the pregnancy
was terminated, I went into a deep state of depression that would last over a year. For the
first few months I did nothing but cry. I felt empty and lost. Angry, frustrated. I didnt
know what to do with myself. I gave up on everything. Nothing really mattered to me
any more.
I just wanted to crawl into a dark whole somewhere and die. I did not want to face the
pain and the sorrow. I grieved night after night for the loss of my child. I could not
understand why God had chosen to take my child.
I would, after a time, start seeing a phsychiatrist in order to get over my loss. I didnt
seem to work. She wanted to put me on medication, to which I refused. I didnt want
medication. I wanted to feel right again.
Over the course of several years, I would have bouts of depression. I would never be the
same again. I was sure of it. My relationships began to falter. Especially with my ex.
He was into drugs and alcohol and he used the exuse of my losing the baby to abuse me.
Often he would rape me. Then I got pregnant a second time.
At first I did not want to tell him. I was afraid he would hurt me and my unborn child.
But I also knew I couldnt keep this a secret from him.
That night when I told him about the baby, he grew angry. He wanted to me to have an
abortion because he didnt feel hed be a good father. I refused the abortion. In my heart
I do not believe in abortion. Not as any type of birth control method. I suppose you can
say I am Pro-Life.
My ex was not happy with my decision about an abortion, so he decided he would take
her life instead. So he threw me face down on the ground and started kicking me. I
ended up in the hospital with damaged kidneys. But the baby survived.
It was a miracle really. For several reasons. As my baby grew and developed inside my
body, I began to witness the miracle of life. Hearing my childs heart beat for the first
time was amazing. I nearly cried with joy and relief knowing that my baby was healthy
and thriving despite all we had gone through together.
The first movements I felt of my child were like little butterfly wings, softly fluttering
inside of me. At first I did not recognize it as the movement of my child. But as she
grew bigger, the movements became more distinct. And near the last part of the
pregnancy, you could distinguish the feel of her elbow, or the heal of her foot. Yes, the
latter months were difficult. I was big and fat and uncomfortable. But my baby was
alive.
She came into the world a few weeks early and she had a lot of medical problems. But
we survive the worst of times. Now she is 13 and we are experiencing a whole new set of
problems. But I wouldnt give anything for those times. I love her as much today as I did
when I first knew I was going to have her.
Pregnancy may be a difficult choice for some. Maybe you are a teenager, or a single
mother addicted to drugs. Maybe you just never planned for this to happen. But abortion
is really not the answer. There are women all over the world who cannot have children of
their own. They will never experience the first heartbeat. Or the first movement, or hear
the first cries of their own babies.
There are women all over the world that long to sit down at night and rock their baby to
sleep and tuck him into bed at night.
There are adoption centers all around. All you have to do is pick up the phone and call
them.
I have provided a few links about pregnancy and abortion that I hope will help you to
make a wise choice about your pregnancy.
Remember, the fetus within you, is a living and breathing life that God has given to you.
Not to anyone else. To you. You need to make the right choice. If you need to talk to
someone, call on a pastor at a church near you, or to someone at the church who is willing
to listen to you. There are alternatives to abortion. Please think long and hard before
making a decision you may regret for the rest of your life. Once you chose abortion, you
cant take back the life once its gone.
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