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A Rose Among Thorns

November 2006













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I worried for a long time through many sleepless nights.  At this time I have had 4 rounds of chemotherapy using Andria Myacin and Cytoxin.  But I could still feel the lump.  It hadn't gotten any smaller and it was a concern for me.
 
When I went to the doctor the day before Thanksgiving, I consulted with the doctor and he confirmed that the chemotherapy had not shrunk the tumor as they would have liked.
 
When I asked why this was, he told me that I fell into the 35% category in which the cancer was chemo-resistant.
 
This sent chills to my very core.  For once I was terrified.  He consulted with me and told me what my options were at this time.  I could have a complete masectomy or a lumpectomy.
 
When I asked him what the chances were of the cancer coming back with a mastectomy, he said it was 3%.  But he also informed me that it was much worse for me if it did, because there was nothing more to remove.
 
He said that with a lumpectomy, I could still have a mastectomy if the cancer came back.  It was only 10% chance of the cancer returning with a lumpectomy.
 
I had the long weekend to think about my choice.  I had to let them know that following Monday what choice I would make.
 
It was not easy.  My mother was reluctant to give my any advice for fear of giving me the wrong advice.
 
I prayed the entire weekend.  I asked the Lord just to help me make the right choice.
 
I was truly terrified.  I didn't think I could possibly make a decision.  I mean we were talking life or death here.  If I made the wrong choice, it could possibly take my life later on.
 
Well after hours of praying and thinking, I finally made my decision and I had to trust the Lord that I was making the right decision.  I opted for a lumpectomy.

Father,
 
Thank you for helping me make the right decision.  I could not have done this without you.  I was scared and frightened.  But you presence helped make things better.  I know you are with me just waiting for me to ask your help.  I know you are eager and willing to answer my prayers.  Help me to rely on you always, for all things, big or small.  Amen.

















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